I’m no stranger to self-reflection. I have spent the vast majority of my life doing just that, possibly before I was even aware I was doing it. I have spent countless hours over the years pouring my thoughts into journal entry after journal entry in hopes of finding just one moment of clarity as to why I’m feeling or behaving a certain way or seeking out certain things. I’ve had countless conversations with friends and family discussing the intricacies of what we, as individuals, have gone through, hoping to bring new light to situations we're currently dealing with. Even this blog is a form of self-reflection for me. It’s a way of throwing what is on my mind out into the universe, perhaps with a subconscious hope that it’ll be read by someone doing or feeling the same thing and together we will feel a sense of connection and understanding... No one wants to feel like they’re alone in this world.
I am often guilty of playing devil’s advocate within conversations with people. Not with the intention of stirring the pot, but because I sometimes think there are hidden depths to our actions and thoughts that I think is worth considering. I ask a lot of questions to open up these other sides of the conversation. I do this purely out of curiosity and with a sincere interest in what makes others tick. It helps me be a better friend, sister, daughter, person... I also see this as a way of possibly opening up an avenue for the other person to piece together things on their own, encouraging their own process of self-reflection. I don’t do these things to be manipulative or to feed someone ideas they don’t already have themselves. I just think there is a beauty in digging deeper within our psyches and maybe, by stumbling upon the right question, it'll lead us one step closer to understanding ourselves fully. Something I believe we could all benefit from greatly.
I am often guilty of playing devil’s advocate within conversations with people. Not with the intention of stirring the pot, but because I sometimes think there are hidden depths to our actions and thoughts that I think is worth considering. I ask a lot of questions to open up these other sides of the conversation. I do this purely out of curiosity and with a sincere interest in what makes others tick. It helps me be a better friend, sister, daughter, person... I also see this as a way of possibly opening up an avenue for the other person to piece together things on their own, encouraging their own process of self-reflection. I don’t do these things to be manipulative or to feed someone ideas they don’t already have themselves. I just think there is a beauty in digging deeper within our psyches and maybe, by stumbling upon the right question, it'll lead us one step closer to understanding ourselves fully. Something I believe we could all benefit from greatly.
I find people fascinating. Both as a whole and as individuals. Each of us have such unique qualities that we bring to the table. We may feel similar emotions, deal with similar situations, react in similar ways... but we all put our own personal stamp on it. Lately I've taken to reading through other people's blogs. Some written by friends, some by strangers. There are a lot of people out there using this type of forum as their way of connecting with others and in so many different ways. Some choose to do it more publicly, advertising their site and hoping many will read what they have to say. Others are more quiet about it and keep the fact that they've written anything at all to themselves. Yet if it weren't meant to be read by someone else, why do they choose to post it online in the first place...? Occasionally I come across a more personal blog with deep, meaningful posts that leave my mind reeling with random thoughts I may never have come up with alone and use this new found wisdom to analyze my own life. I enjoy those blogs the most, despite how much I sometimes feel like I'm reading through journal entries that were never meant for my eyes. I admire those who can put their thoughts and feelings out there so honestly. I had originally hoped my own blog would help encourage me to do the same. It's not as easy as one would think. But I'm trying.
I guess the gist of this post is to point out the fact that, at 31 years of age, I'm still putting together the puzzle pieces of who I am and why. I'm still learning things about myself on a daily basis and have grown to love that fact very much. It's taken a long time to find an appreciation for myself and to recognize positive, as well as some negative, attributes that are uniquely mine and are beautiful qualities in and of themselves. And I'm really proud of myself for not shying away from this path of self discovery, even when the going gets tough. I can't take all the credit though. I do have some amazing, supportive friends and family who teach me valuable lessons constantly, whether they realize it or not. I choose to surround myself with the people I have in my life because they challenge and push me to be a better person overall… to question myself, learn from myself, find my inner strength and beauty. I can only hope that this is something I provide in return for them as well.
I guess the gist of this post is to point out the fact that, at 31 years of age, I'm still putting together the puzzle pieces of who I am and why. I'm still learning things about myself on a daily basis and have grown to love that fact very much. It's taken a long time to find an appreciation for myself and to recognize positive, as well as some negative, attributes that are uniquely mine and are beautiful qualities in and of themselves. And I'm really proud of myself for not shying away from this path of self discovery, even when the going gets tough. I can't take all the credit though. I do have some amazing, supportive friends and family who teach me valuable lessons constantly, whether they realize it or not. I choose to surround myself with the people I have in my life because they challenge and push me to be a better person overall… to question myself, learn from myself, find my inner strength and beauty. I can only hope that this is something I provide in return for them as well.
Random Fact About Me #239: I get fairly cranky when I don't make a point of setting aside time for myself occasionally. This is something I have just discovered about myself within the last year or two.
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